In the Arena

Mubarak’s Message

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Shorter Mubarak (with some poetic license about ulterior motives):
1. A lot of naive but earnest young people are in the streets.
2. Those young people were quickly exploited by political forces (i.e. those who don’t adore me).
3. I’m going to investigate those political forces. A lot.
4. Oh, and I almost forgot, I’m not going to run for president again.
5. Did I mention that I was going to investigate those “political” forces who are trying to run me out of town?
6. I am a man of the military–so you should be worried that I’m going to have them shoot you if you don’t calm down.
7. Oh, and about those “political” forces:  I’m going to spend the last months of my service “investigating” them–I mean, really investigating them, gouging the truth out of them–with extreme prejudice…which should be sufficient time for me to throw them all in jail and maybe torture them.
8. Then again, if it isn’t sufficient time to rid our great nation of these horrid pests…well, who knows, a guy can change his mind about not running for president again, can’t he?