William Shatner Reads Sarah Palin
Last night, on Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show, the man-who-was-Kirk brought a poetic interpretation to the Alaskan Governor's farewell speech.
For the O'Brien set up, click here. To read Palin's full remarks, click here. To see the Palin poem in its proper glory, with line breaks and all, follow me to the jump.
ALSO: Salon's Alex Koppelman reminds me that nothing will ever match Shatner doing Elton John's Rocketman.
FINALLY: Since we are already playing this game, here is Leonard Nimoy, aka Spock, singing "Bilbo Baggins." Really bad.
Alaska, America Soaring By Sarah Palin
America soaring through nature's finest show
Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then
the extremes.
In the winter time it's the frozen road that is
competing with the view of ice fogged
frigid beauty.
The cold though, doesn't it
split
the
Cheechakos
from
the
Sourdoughs?
And then in the summertime
such extreme summertime
about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than
just some months ago,
than just some months from now,
with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers
that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here
Mother Nature
wins.
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1
Michael-Why don't ya just quit makin thangs up. You are the media and you should be speaking truth to the power to influence. Or something like that. Our military is dying for your freedoms. And don't mention any of Sarah's 5 kids that goes for Track, Trig, Bristol, Piper and Willow. Did I get them all?
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1.1
I think you missed Paper, Rock and Scissors.
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1.2
You missed NaughtyMonkey, ChunkyMonkey and ArcticMonkey, also Whackjob, Screwloose and Fubar.
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2
You forgot Snowmobile, PolarBear, Iceberg, and maybe there are a couple others floating around out there.
Seriously, I just can't stop being amazed at the names she picks for them.
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3
I see that "Miss Congeniality" left a lasting impression on Shatner: the urge to recite (if not sing) to music. But how would he handle serious stuff like Copeland's "A Lincoln Portrait"? If we need a fake conspiracy here, I'd blame the pageant industry. Without them, Sandra Bullock would not have made this film, thus Shatner would not have made this performance. And without pageants, Sarah might have had another career (likely not a librarian, but I digress.)
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4
Bones: She's dead Jim. JIM! I SAID SHE'S DEAD! That's not CPR..that's...that's...DISGUSTING!
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5
McCoy: Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pimp! And stay away from my daughter or I'll have Spock put in command....
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6
Bones: Mr. Sulu, Jim's not the one that needs medical attention. Strangest abdominal thrusts I've ever seen.
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7
Kirk hands McCoy some of his Rigellian BDSM gear while changing. “Care to try these, Bones?” “Are you kidding? I couldn't get one of these things to work no matter how many instructions you left!”
I admire Kirk's success at sleeping his way around the galaxy: “Gamesters of Triskellion”, “Wolf in the Fold” and Argelian fleshpots, “Shore Leave” and staying with humanoid robot of his past girlfriend, “The Mark of Gideon”, etc. etc. etc. etc.
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8
Why is everyone picking on poor Sarah? Can't you see she is just another victim of the vast liberal media conspiracy?
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8.1
Seriously, I think we just pick on her because she's a MILFbilly. Ex-Governor. Ex-VP candidate. She's got looks, fame, influence in a dying party, soon to have tons of cash and she's still an idiot. She makes us feel better about ourselves.
Most of us don't have the looks, money or the other stuff, but we're not nitwits. Most of us wouldn't even consider letting a witch doctor perform a ceremony on us to protect us from evil spirits.
Maybe it's a little cultural snobbery, but mostly I think we enjoy it and it's free. There's also the possibility that her wingnut political views and the way she held thinly disguised Klan rallies last year just rubbed us the wrong way.
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8.2
What liberal media? Word on sacredh's reasons, although I use a witch doctor. The nearby university farm has complained about missing goats for awhile but I haven't been caught yet. Sorry, but he doesn't get the chickens, I use those for dinner.
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8.3
deconstructiva, I think we're the liberal media. If you're not far right, everything else looks liberal. The republican party consists mostly of Joseph McCarthy wannabes now. Torture, spying on it's citizens, legislating morality, keeping people poor, uneducated, without medical coverage...they care about themselves and then there's the rest of us. They'll keep acting like the 50's are coming back and then look bewildered when it doesn't.
Even if we don't get a healthcare plan that's socialist in nature, I want us to call it that just to p!ss them off.
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8.4
Great points again. Too bad today's R's seem to look to McCarthy and Nixon, not Eisenhower. But thanks, this thread is more entertaining than JK's Israeli post above. I posted my worst spob impression and will get nailed for it.
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9
…when Kirk was away, why did Sulu ever get the com when Uhura was 4th in command? Imagine those discussions…
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10
[...] Michael Scherer in Swampland reprints it as poetry: Alaska, America Soaring By Sarah PalinAmerica soaring through nature’s finest show [...]
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11
Meg Stapleton is the one in the odd color uniform. She is not going to make it off the planet.
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11.1
A transporter malfunction would explain Sarah having her brains scrambled.
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11.2
Meg reminds me of Nancy Hedford in 2nd season "Metamorphosis" (who was played by breathelessly gorgeous Elinor Donahue) - nice looks but oh so bitter and will lash out at anyone.
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12
Michael Scherer is a Hollywood starlet. Albeit a Hollywood starlet ranking very low on the integrity scale and lacking any semblence of charisma, but a Hollywood starlet nonetheless.
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13
Maybe this can be her official campaign song...
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14
MILFbilly
Perfection.
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15
Thanks FT. It was so easy and so obvious, I'm surprised I hadn't seen it before. I'm calling dibs.
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16
I love California too!
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16.1
Stay away from California. They've been infested with brain eating parasites. The melon crop looks like it did very well though. The weed sounds like it's killer too.
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16.2
…silkworms?
Does Sarah has CA relatives? This also in a twisty way makes me think of Jim Mora Sr. combined with her....“Silkworms? Don't talk about…silkworms? You kidding me? Silkworms? I just hope we can grow fruit trees and vegetable trees, that's where fruit and vegetables come from. Also.”
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16.3
Yes but, the fruit trees and the vegetable trees are free. Unless you have to pay rent. But, wait you don't have to pay rent because the land is free. It was created by the expert businessman who just are experts at making stuff.
So in conclusion the food is free. We can just sell it at the farmers market.
Thank you.
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16.4
Watch the video closely. I think she roibbed a pet store before she spoke. There's a couple of puppies fighting under her top.
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17
Is it just me or did another commentator say something about Palin's speech reading better as beat poetry than straight english?
It was yesterday--we better start copyrighting our material before Conan starts mining us like oil sands.As for infected melons, California has very restrictive fruit and vegetable importing laws...so I'd rule out insect infestations. As for brain-vaporizing cannabis...Nor-Cal is right up there with Amsterdam!
If they legalize, I might even move back.
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17.1
BC bud dude. ANOTHER thing Canadians do better than us.
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17.2
Athens, Ohio. Corn isn't the only thing they improved at the agricultural college.
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18
Does she really believe that she has a shot at the nomination three years from now? The answer (unbelievably) is yes. Tom DeFrank of the New York Daily News put it well: The woman has "delusions of adequacy". The pundits (most of them anyway) are starting to compare her rambling press conference on July 3 to Dick Nixon's infamous tirade when he lost the California governor's race in 1962 ("You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore"). Some are even daring to suggest that, like Tricky Dick, she will ultimately be victorious. The only problem with that scenario is the fact that there are slightly over one-hundred things that separate Sarah Palin from Richard Milhaus Nixon: I.Q. points.
http://www.tomdegan.blogspot.com
Tom Degan
Goshen, NY -
19
[...] Sarah Palin Makes Stuff Up, Then Tells the Press to Stop Makin' Stuff Up – At her farewell speech, Sarah Palin said that it gets 150 degrees hotter in the summer in Alaska. Then she chastised some members of the press for “makin' stuff up.” [...]
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20
[...] of Freedom Medal winners, including God’s slam poet, Rev. Joe Lowery … And finally, Shatner reads Palin—’nuff said. [...]
- michaelscherer Gibbs says Desiree Rogers will not testify tomorrow before House on WH gatecrashers. - 2 hours ago
- michaelscherer Always a bad sign when you (NBC) have to preface every news report (Salahi) with big disclaimers that the parent company is not a factor. - 7 hours ago
- michaelscherer Ah.... Richard Wolffe. - 19 hours ago
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