5 Reasons Why Alaskans Think Palin Quit

JNS: You don't have to worry about running out of headlines. Sarah's like a drug addict that got locked in a pharmacy overnight. When you open the door in the morning, you know you're going to find a mess and something to talk about. Please don't listen to the people saying stories about Sarah are just fluff, they're not. Sarah is a threat as long as she is active. Exposing her is a public service. Thanks for the post.

Be careful what you write. You might get sued.

The bottom line: When the going got tough - Palin bailed. She is a cut and run type of Republican. Let's hope she runs in 2012!

JNS –
Thanks for the story, you rock. But no Argentina “trips” in Sarah's itinerary? Any update on Sarah's lawsuit threats against MSM websites and blogger Shannyn Moore? Did you speak to either Moore or Palin? This is a tempest in a teabag but I think Shannyn will loudly fight to the end (and should); PR alone can't help any future Palin career moves. I still think Sarah's top reasons leading to a 2012 Pres run are:
1. FOX primetime gig with Greta.
2. relive her pageant days and go into theatre or films – epic “Dances With Wolves…After Blowing Them Away”
3. write childrens book series “Bridge to Sarahdipthia”
4. go for the Ambassador to Africa gig
5. TIME writing gig. You, Amy, and KT can have lunch at fancy cafes, swap gossip, and play euchre. She can join the Swamp and return the grief to us for making fun of her. Memo to High Sherriffs: think of the huge # of page hits.

I think we have to think outside the envelope. She's going to shave her head and play a tambourine in LAX. The Republican base will become Hari Krishnas and a tent at Hollywood and Vine will become their new spiritual capital. Do I hear a loud snapping sound?

Reason #6:
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The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!
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No time to govern – I have to get airborne with my all-white rifle and stop 'em! Only I can save our great country! Also!

When does the book tour start?

http://www.political-buzz.com/

I don't know guys, you're all kind of pessimists in your assessment of Palin. The glass is half-assed full. Also, have you ever been to Juneau? Its really too close to Can-an-a-da, I hear the illegal Canadian immigrant problem is horrible. I don't want to sound racist here, but illegal Canadian immigrants in Alaska really are destroying our country. So maybe she's just going to set up the Alaskan delegation of the minute-men.

Good, well-reasoned (and well-researched) article. Now if only the crazies on both extremes would read and believe it.

I wish some celebrity would have the courtesy to die, preferably scandalously. This is getting annoying.

It's Denali, Not McKinley
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Just ask. They'll tell you....

http://www.petercoopermusic.com/lyrics/denali.html

yogi - whither South Park residents who fled to Canada to avoid Homeland Security? Did Levi Johnston also make a run for the border to avoid "Mom"? Has AK economic woes, aka Palinomics, caused massive immigration too? Inquiring minds....

My very first guess was your #5 - milk the lairs for Jesus circuit.
I'm sticking by that.

mccainfluffer -
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Cut an' run - I be likin' it!
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More turn'bout fair play!
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Pick up th' meme an' run wi' it, I be sayin!
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Arrgh!

An' per'aps th' next time th' idiots be chantin' "drill baby drill!", we all ought t' be returnin' wi' "cut, sarah, run!"
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Arrgh!

One point in support of the drug use and/or mental illness theory:
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In Alaska, a lot of time is spent indoors. There is very little in the way of activities during that time. It's one of the reasons that drug and alcohol use is prevalent in Alaska:
http://www.addictionsearch.com/treatment/AK/alaska.html#

I think the Sarah Palin Pin-Up Calendar is going to be a smash.
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That shot of her from the Runner's World article where she's wearing running shorts with nylons made me think that, ultimately, she wants to be a Hooter's Girl. Or maybe THE Hooter's Girl.

Another possible meme (for Python Fans)

"Brave Sarah Palin ran away.
Bravely ran away away.
When danger reared it's ugly head,
She bravely turned her tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sarah Palin turned about
And gallantly She chickened out.
Bravely taking to her feet,
She beat a very brave retreat.
Bravest of the brave, Sarah Palin"

Who on earth is Sarah P-L-A-I-N?

I know you're probably posting this in between very important meetings, JNS, but at least get the name right!!!

Not sure how you guys manage to believe in the caricatures you construct. Of course, this happens all the time with politicians...but the efforts seem more vicious as of late.
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Would that Obama and Palin get a break so we can have a "serious dialogue"...sigh...

53_3 - Levi and Bristol found something to do.
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palininatowel - will she become a sports fashion / shoe designer too? Or have her own Martha Stewart / Ralph Lauren home collection, too...especially bath towels?

Let's hope the reasons don't proliferate as I'm running out of headlines.
Ouch!

@mccainfluffer- shouldn't that be "when Putin reared his ugly head"?
@Emil- perhaps JNS was saying that Sarah just plain quit. And she was mimicking Sarah's own habit of capitalizing random words. Also.

Basta!

mccainfluffer -
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Now, if thar be someone who be capable o' splicin' th' speech in wi' th' song, that'd be ri' perfect!
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"I didn't!"
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An' I, fer one, would be 'appy t' be seein' it an' passin' it along!
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Youtube it, PLEASE!, me hearty!
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YARR