Best Congressional Investigation Ever Reveals Hulk Hogan To Be A "Terrible" Wrestler
With no real fanfare, Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., has finished up his investigation of steroids in professional wrestling. (Yep, it's a problem.) Marc Ambinder, a hopeless fan of the squared circle, has a good write up of some of the highlights and the policy implications.
But the steroid stuff is not really the most interesting part. In his effort to rid the nation of steroid abuse, Waxman has incidentally created a great historical treasure trove, one of the most comprehensive pictures ever produced of the fascinating, exhilarating, often-nasty and always-elusive professional wrestling business. This industry is, it must be said, America's last great circus, a traveling band of performers with pecs and tights that is televised with huge ratings three times a week on cable, fills untelevised arenas many other nights each week, and attracts millions of dollars in annual pay-per-view revenue. It is "fake" in the way that it is not a sport, like baseball or football. But as a business, as a form of entertainment, and as an athletic drama it often puts real sports leagues to shame.
In recent years, American professional wrestling has been mostly run as a monopoly, under the umbrella of the WWE, which is controlled and operated by Vince McMahon and his family, who often perform at the events. They like to keep the backstage details quiet, by necessity. Like magic, pro-wrestling is about illusion. You never want to reveal more than the trick demands. But Waxman has now laid these details bare, in testimony to Congress, where lies are prosecutable offenses. We learn that the WWE, for instance, employs about 10 writers to develop story lines for the wrestlers. In addition to the writers, a group of "producers," mostly former wrestlers, travel on the road to help the performers with rough choreography of each match. (Each match needs a beginning, middle and end.) The performers can make anywhere from a few thousand to many hundred thousand dollars, depending on the event. Then there is this, my favorite nugget from what I have read so far--from an interview with Stephanie McMahon, the daughter of Vince and the person in charge of talent relations and creative writing.
Q: How does talent get to become main-event talent?
A: Basically, hard work and perseverance and overwhelming the audience. . . . When someone walks out on that stage, they either connect with the people or they don't. If you walk out on stage and nobody cares and you don't have any presence, you are never going to be a main-event guy. But if you walk out and you make the people notice you, you can be a main-event guy. You really don't even have to be a good wrestler. Hulk Hogan was a terrible wrestler, and he still is.
Q: For the record, I am sure he would disagree with that.
A: I am sure he would disagree with that. I forget this is all public. But, you know, he was. He was a terrible wrestler. But what an incredible psychologist and what an incredible charismatic person. There is no denying Hulk Hogan is one of the biggest stars in the history of our business and will always be perceived as such. But he was not a great wrestler, not a great technician.
Later in the interview, Stephanie McMahon says she regrets saying on the record that Hogan was a bad wrestler. But she elaborates, nonetheless.
When I said Hulk Hogan wasn't a great wrestler, I didn't mean he didn't know how to do the moves, the move technically. He just had three moves. And that is all he did. That is what I meant. It wasn't an exciting technical display of reversing holds and, you know, multiple different maneuvers. It was a very basic match. Psychologically it worked every time. The crowd got behind Hulk.
Just Stephanie's interview alone runs 138 pages. All great stuff. The full archive of Waxman's investigation can be found here.
UPDATE: Ambinder responds to this post, by agreeing with McMahon: Hulk stunk as a wrestler. The Atlantic's in-house wrestling expert even posts video evidence to prove it: a vintage match between Hogan and Minnesota's own Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
MORE: Wade Keller, the editor of Pro-Wrestling Torch, who probably learns more about wrestling before lunch before I have gathered in a lifetime, points out correctly that Waxman is not the first to put to paper the mechanics of behind-the-curtain wrestling production, a craft that has been documented in fan publications and wrestler memoirs for years. (Had a McMahon ever knocked Hogan's wrestling skills in public before?) That said, Waxman's historical record is still quite astounding, and great reading, and it will be a valuable historical and journalistic reference for years to come.
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1
What, rassling is fake? Crap.
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3
Pointless drivel natch. GFY Scherer.
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Ron Asheton died today and you're not gonna say sh!t?
http://www.aversion.com/news/news_article.cfm?news_id=11938 -
4
Imagine if these super powers were used for the good of mankind.
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5
OK someone has to start this blog off.
First I grew up in the Tampa Florida area. Which was a hot bed of wrestling and where Terry Bollea (Hulk) grew up. (He's actually a pretty good guy - not perfect just like the rest of us - just a whole lot richer). I wrestled in High School when it had just started here in Florida as a high school sport. We had to schedule Cowboy Luttrel's wrestling school, which usually had the son's of professional wrestlers such as Mike Graham (Eddie Graham's son) Bob Orton Jr. (Bob Orton Sr.'s son) and others. Used to wrestle them at the old Sportatorium in Tampa where they filmed Championship wrestling with Gordon Solie. After the filming we'd get dressed in the same one room locker room with the professional wrestlers. I remember well how the Great Malenko and Eddie Graham has just had a bloody brawl for the TV audience, blood splurting everywhere from razor cuts in the forhead which they worked on before the match. They were going to kill each other in the ring at the Armory that next Saturday night they announced to the crowd. I went in to change after that bloody performance only to find them seated next to each other talking about where they were going to have dinner together in a few days.
In the old days it was indeed the greatest circus act in the world, filed with great performers who made up their own fueds, were sometimes large- but rarely had the massive builds of today's wrestlers (except maybe Billy Graham). You didn't have to be large just be a talented performer who acted the proper role required. They were real professionals who put on a great show without nudity and lef the audience with a sense that what they were seeing was indeed real. They knew how to sell the sizzle!
Then Vince McMahon came along and screwed up wrestling. Encouraged the wrestlers to get big (many have died because of it) looked the other way when drugs got a foothold on the performers (many of them died because of it), and basically ran wrestling into the toilet with borderline sex shows, stupid plots and got his whole family involved in the performance. It's become almost an unwatchable farce with horrible plot lines and dark characters that all seem to be copies of each other.
Stephanie was not even an an adult when Hulk started wrestling. The guy she knows and you've seen over the past 15 years has bad knees, a hip replacement (I believe) , and many other injuries that inhibit his actions. In the early days he was very good, a very athletic and skilled wrestler. The McMahons and Hulk are not always on good terms so it doesn't surprise me she's talking him down.
Stephanie McMahon is where she is because she's a member of the "lucky sperm club." She is not one that should be talking about other people's abilities or skills because she is quite deficient in that area. The best thing that might happen is we find the McMahons lied during some of their testimony and wind up out of the wrestling business.
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6
I was waiting for the segue to how Blogo and Burris tag-teamed and splashed Reid to the mat...
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Perhaps the reason there was "no real fanfare" was that there was "no real story" or, perhaps, more important things going on in the world...
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Sorry. I guess if JNS can post about SG Gupta, you should be able to call and raise her.
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K-Tum..? K-Tum..?!? -
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Whatever. You only need three moves: Fake punch (with coordinated stomp), bounce off the ropes, suplex.
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I'd include "head smash with folding chair" but any old douchebag can do that. -
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I remember watching Ric Flair and Eddie Valentine - my fav tag team - on Sunday mornings when I was a kid. Couldn't use anything they did in wrestling practice, but it was fun to watch. Until I hit that age when kids start to wonder if Santa is real, too.
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I can't believe Flair is still out there, puttering around. For real old guys wrestling, check out http://www.silverbackswrestling.com. -
9
Say what you will but Stephanie McMahon was right. I don't think I ever saw Hulk Hogan even do a drop kick which is standard fair for most wrasslers. He had the one foot to the face kick, the big leg drop and maybe a body slam. But having said that he isn't the only big star who was limited. I mean how many moves did Stone Cold Steve Austin have? What about somebody old school like Rick Flair? Figure Four leg lock and some punches? The new breed of wrasslers usually have a more complete repetoire of moves, counter moves and finishing moves. But unfortunately WWE has become so cartoonish that even better moves hasn't helped the company. Don't get me wrong they are still making money hand over fist and my son has more WWE shirt than I could ever justify. But wrassling fans used to be fans for life. I remember my Grandmother didn't miss a Sunday of watching Mid South wrassling on Tee Vee. But now adays the WWE might have a fan until their late 20s but after that most people have moved on. If we want to watch soft porn cable has plenty of better selections. If we want to watch great moves we can watch the UFC. But wrasslin used to be about somewhat realistic personas and bigger than life personalities. Thats what McMahon has sacrificed in the name of better moves. There is a reason why they were still paying Ric Flair to wrassle up until last year and why the Undertaker is still one of their biggest draws.
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Yeah I know I am a wrasslin nerd but I am not ashamed lol -
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Didn't there used to be a guy with a parrot?
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11
If we want to watch soft porn cable has plenty of better selections. If we want to watch great moves we can watch the UFC.
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I know I'm not the first person to point this out, but UFC probably counts as soft porn for, ah, certain segments of the population. -
12
Wrestling nerds unite!
Have to diasgree with you sgwhiteinfla on Hulk. In the early days he did the whole bag of tricks. But as time wore on and he was wrestling many many nights a month, the choreography got simpler because hey you can't keep it up night after night, the easy moves became the standard fare. Wrestling got ot the point that if the top flight guy got down and dirty with the common folk wrestlers too much (too many common moves) he lost that air of invinciability, he had to appear to exhert just the minimum force and effort necessary to win the match, beause after all he was the top guy!
In the old days 50's 60's there were blood baths, and everyone worked hard because everyone was pretty much average build. The shows were less extreme, usually less risky (except for the razor cut foreheads and generally no slamming with metal chairs and throwing them down on tables)and the guys were more limber and less muscle heavy so they didn't injure themselves as easily. Sometimes the greatest danger they faced were the grandmas in the audience with the hat pins they'd use on the bad guy if he walked by.
Remember going down to the St. Pete armory many a Saturday night with other members of the high school wrestling team and rooting for the bad guys all night. Back then many of the audience members thought it all was real. They'd be screaming at us by the end of the nnight... but Lord it was such fun.
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newfloridian
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I remember Hulk Hogan coming to Memphis and getting his ass kicked by our "hero" Jerry "The King" Lawler. Now if you ever wanted to see a one trick pony it was Lawler. His finishing move for years and years and years was just punching a dude senseless. And he was as badly built as you could get away with without technically being a fat ass. But we loved him in Memphis for decades because regardless of how many moves he had he knew how ot move the crowd. When you say the whole bag of tricks what do you mean? I never saw him do any kind of leg lock, any kind of sleeper/choke holds, any kind of off the top rope moves, no drop kicks. Don't get me wrong there weren't many guys who did it all back then either. Come to think of it most cats were either high flyers who did none of the power moves or power guys who didn't do high flying moves. You had a couple of exceptions like the Undertaker but they were few and far in between. But now adays you have cats who do it all.
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All except actually shoot on other guys in interviews where you really really feel emotionally attached about whether or not they can back up their words. Now a days you got wrasslers who can give a diatribe for 15 minutes and nobody even give a sh!t afterward. Besides that you don't have the "patriotic" matches like you used to. If everything going on today was happening in the 70s/80s I can guarantee you that there would be an "Iranian Sheik" type guy as a heel in wrassling or a "over the top redneck" type guy talking ish about Obama. Now adays its just lame ass story line after lame ass story line interspersed with T and A.
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I understand your loyalty and admiration for Hulk Hogan, before he went all NWA in the WCW I would have been right with you but I never ever never saw him do the stuff these cats are doing today in the ring. Maybe I just didn't see it but I never even saw the potential for him to do a drop kick so I would have to see it on youtube or something to believe it. -
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MS I can't relate to rasslin', but I will say that there is real passion in your writing here. Good post...
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The sections in Bob Dylan's book of memoirs has some wrasslin' sections, about young Dylan playing music at a big travelling wrasslin' shindig headlined by Georgeous George, who said nice things (we are told) to young Zimmerman.
as for Hogan's qualifications -- he's telegenic. But being a wrasslin' star doesn't mean you know anything about wrasslin', because Hogan as wrasslin' star was basically a mechanic whose most important skill was growing a big moustache.
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My brother and I loved to watch Gorgeous George when we were young.
I think they were old shows when we watched but a lot of fun and he was a terrific showman.
http://www.wrestlingmuseum.com/pages/bios/halloffame/georgebio.html -
18
As a point of fact, Flair won a state championship in high school, which is no mean feat - except maybe in NY, after the division split, but don't get me started on that... - so the guy _does_ know some real wrestling. Bob Backlund wrestled for North Dakota State, and the Steiner brothers were from, I think, Michigan. I remember Backlund throwing in some moves that they'd call "technical" during the matches, but any amateur would recognize them as simple escapes, duck-unders, reversals, etc. Oh, and Kurt Angle, of course, was an Olympic champion, and I hear he still helps out his mat brothers on the classic side of the fence.
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19
Criminy! I take back comment #5. While WWE(F?)(G?) rasslin' doesn't float my boat, apparently this post was just what the Swamp needed!
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Michael: Good job! (Even if your comment #14 belies that you didn't know you'd struck gold.)
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C'mon, let's hear it, Michael: do you have a rasslin' memory that can top the beautiful missives from newfloridian's and sg's childhoods? -
20
the first long magazine story I ever got published was about a night clerk who worked at the 7/11 in Easthampton, Mass., whose only dream was to become a professional rassler. Reporting the story took me backstage to a WWF (as it was called then) match, and to a school for pro wrestlers in New Bedford. (It had once been a boxing gym, but then one day someone stole all the boxing equipment.) I am not much of a wrestling fan, and I somehow missed it mostly in my childhood, but that story remains one of my favorites.
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21
pourme #2, I have a piece of OU red jersey that I tore off of Wahoo McDaniel after a game many years ago. I was about 11 and they wore tear-away jerseys, it was like tearing paper towel. They had won the game (as always then) and he thought it was funny.
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I think this is a lame blog, but while I am at it, I was looking up McDaniel on Wiki and see that Big Daddy Bush coached him in little league in Midland. I have respect for Big, and nothing but contempt for his little boy. So this lame blog did spark my interest after all.
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23
I hope everybody here realizes that any hope of your being taken seriously from this point on is pretty much forget about it. This includes you too, MS. Of course this is in the dead of night. Perhaps the sheriffs won't be watching.
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24
Well, jose, I guess that puts us on par with John Conyers, bitching about Reid not releasing tapes when so many other issues are overlooked. Fiddling while Rome burns, if you will.
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25
Whoa! Moderation still works. I got stuck in the penalty box for "b.tching." Hey, MS, can you fish that one out for me? Thanks...
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